Curious kids do better in school.

The sneaky way we used pumpkin pie to help our granddaughters succeed in school and in life.

Parenting Matters #85

By: Catherine Lynch and Glenn Collins

Dear Awesome Parent,

It’s pumpkin pie season. Here in our house we love pumpkin pie. And we’ve passed that love on to our grandkids. Nothing new there.

But here’s the news: We recently discovered something shocking about the canned pumpkin we all buy to make our pumpkin pies - It’s not actually pumpkin. Or at least not what we normally think of when we hear the word pumpkin. (Long boring source here)

Crazy, I know. But true! And when we shared this bit of trivia with our granddaughters this is the look we got:

They were shocked and amazed!

But it’s true: The word pumpkin means “fruit of the cucurbita plant.” And guess what? There are lots of different kinds of cucurbita plants that have fruit. It’s just that we tend to call them gourds and squash instead of pumpkins.

Therefore, when you read the label on your can of pumpkin puree, and it says “pumpkin”, it’s not lying…

It’s just that when we hear “pumpkin” we think it (only) means this:

Once our granddaughters had wrapped their heads around this bit of info, they naturally wanted to know if it’s possible to make pumpkin pie from ‘real’ pumpkins.

A little bit of internet sleuthing yielded this tidbit: There are two (main) kinds of round, orange pumpkins: the “field” kind that people carve on Halloween, and the “sugar pumpkin” that people eat. The major difference is that the sugar pumpkins are sweeter (duh) and have less fiber. Those are the ones generally used for cooking.

Our granddaughters immediately chorused: “Let’s make pie from ‘real’ pumpkins and see what it tastes like!”

We say “yes” as often as possible, especially when they’re asking to do something active, creative, educational, or delicious 😁, so of course we agreed.

Our local farmstand sells pumpkins this time of year, so off we went to buy a pair of sugar pumpkins.

The pumpkins were cut in half and the girls removed the seeds - which they said felt like brains!?! They roasted them till they were soft and then scooped out the flesh. It looked a bit watery so they drained it using cheesecloth and then pureed it. They now had “real” pumpkin puree and all that was left was to turn it into pies! They followed the recipe on the back of a can of Libby’s 100% Pumpkin Puree and here’s the result:

We’re still wondering how they know what brains feel like. 😳

So, other than a fun and yummy project with our grandkids, was there a purpose to our pie making? Oh yes indeed: Allowing - no, encouraging! - them to follow where their curiosity leads. When they show an interest, we lean in and let them explore because curiosity is a mindset that will serve them well in life no matter what they do. Creativity, innovation, problem solving, and empathy all flow from being curious.

But what do most of us focus on instead of curiosity? Grades. Because, you know:

Good grades in school —> good college —> good career —> financial security.

Don’t get us wrong, we’re fully behind wanting your kids to do well in school! We did with our kids. And it’s certainly important - but it’s not the most important thing. It’s not even the most important thing about education. Simply having them get good grades isn’t the result we should be aiming for. Instead, that should be a by-product of something more basic: Curiosity and a love of learning. That’s what truly allows your kids to soar.

And the science backs this up. This study, published by researchers at the University of Michigan, examined data from 6,200 kindergartners and found this: the more curious the kid, the more likely they were to do well in school.

Friends, that’s worth saying again: The more curious the kid, the more likely they are to do well in school.

You might be saying “Well that’s kindergarten, and kids change a lot between kindergarten and adulthood. Is there anything that shows curiosity has an impact on success in the working world?” We’re glad you asked! In his book The Corner Office, Adam Bryant interviewed over 70 CEOs and asked “What qualities do you see most often in those that succeed?” The top answer on their lists? You guessed it: Curiosity.

So now that we’ve convinced you that curiosity is an important asset, not just something you have to deal with, you’re wondering how to make sure your kids are curious. Luckily, kids are naturally curious, and you don’t have to ‘make’ them curious. Instead, your work is to make sure their natural curiosity sticks around as they grow up. This takes a two-pronged approach: Find ways to support their natural curiosity and minimize the ways you accidentally shut it down.

Supporting their curiosity:

Encourage it. When they show curiosity or enthusiasm for something, encourage it as much as possible. Show enthusiasm about it yourself - even if it’s not something you’d normally be interested in - and talk about it with them. Find ways to help them further their knowledge or skill in what they’re interested in. If you can’t do it immediately, make a plan to do it soon.

Role model being curious. Speak in ways that show off your own curiosity. Says things like:

• I wonder why that happened?

• Today I discovered that ….

• I wonder what will happen if I …?

• I wonder how that works?

• Let’s try it and see what happens. And…

• What kind of snake is that?

Ask opened-ended questions that encourage your kid to think and problem solve. That engage their curiosity. Here’s some of our favorite questions:

• What do you think?

• How could we do that?

• How can we find out more?

• What do you think we should do?

• Why do you think that happened?

No list of “What to do” would be complete without it’s opposite: What not to do. Here’s how you (and we) accidentally discourage our kids’ curiosity:

• Judge their interests.

• Ignore their questions.

• Criticize their mistakes.

• Over-schedule their time.

• Tell them to stop asking “why”.

• Limit free play and exploration.

• Make them sit still/stay inside/stay clean.

Just in case there was any doubt, the pies made from the “real” pumpkin were delicious! The girls proclaimed them “the best pumpkin pie they’d ever had!” To us there wasn’t actually much difference between a pie made from canned puree and one made from the sugar pumpkins. But for our granddaughters, these pumpkin pies will stand out in their memories because it was their idea to make them. And it was their project. They did the work and made the pies from actual pumpkins they picked out.

Home Practice:

• What are your kids curious about that you usually don’t let them indulge in? Let them follow their curiosity, or even encourage it for just a few minutes today.

• Notice what you say that discourages curiosity and enlist your parenting partner to help you use different words that will foster the curiosity you’re looking.

Who is this photogenic fellow we found in the garden? Turns out, he’s an adult Rough Green Snake, non-venomous. After a few pictures, we put him back in the fennel bed to live his little life.

Stay curious, friends!

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