Tired of hearing "I'm bored"? Here's 4 Easy Ways to minimize your kid's boredom this summer
Without breaking the bank, micromanaging their every minute, or driving yourself nuts in the process.
Parenting Matters #69
By: Catherine Lynch and Glenn Collins
Dear Awesome Parent,
Oh, the irony. After the long countdown to summer vacation, your kids are now complaining about how bored they are. Maddening, isn’t it?
Our house, last week:
“I’m bored!” whined a voice from behind me. I turned from dinner prep and saw the unhappy face of my 11 year-old granddaughter.
“I thought you were having a good time playing the piano upstairs.” I said.
“I was, but my brother came up and wanted to play too. All he wanted to do was play with the sound effects and bang on the keys. He wouldn’t let me play, so I left.”
“Yes, a little brother can be really annoying. They follow you around and want to do everything you do.” I sympathized.
She nodded. “I’m so bored!”
I didn’t say any of the things that popped into my head. Things I’d heard countless times from my mother:
“That’s not my problem. Go find something to do.”
“Great, the family room’s a mess. Go clean it up.”
“Go outside and play.”
Instead I channeled my grandfather, the kindest and wisest adult in my life when I was a child:
“How about you help me work on dinner. I’’m making Fettuccini Alfredo. I know that’s one of your favorites."
She smiled and asked what she could do.
Boredom instantly alleviated.
For now.
School’s out, summer is in full swing, and your kids are bored.
You’re frustrated because you’ve bought them toys, games, art supplies, sports equipment, books, and lots of other stuff so they can entertain themselves.
But they’re not entertaining themselves. They’re in full complain mode about being bored, and they want YOU to solve it for them. Like, now.
It’s a real conundrum: You don’t want them sitting on the couch all day watching Netflix, TikTok, and YouTube - and you know that’s what they’ll default to if you let them.
You want your kids doing something that will enrich them. That will develop their mind, body, and character.
Sure, you could schedule activities every day. Camp, summer school, play dates, visits to the Y, family outings, etc. Plan out their days so their free time is minimized. That will solve the “I’m bored” and screen time issues.
But is that really the best option? It’s a lot of work for you AND my mom was not entirely wrong about whose problem boredom actually is: Ultimately, everyone is responsible for finding ways to entertain themselves. Our kids included. In fact, it’s good for them to have to find ways to amuse and occupy themselves. It’s a life skill.
We’ll go so far as to say that boredom is actually a good thing. It’s a great inspiration for finding something to do. If they’re bored AND they know you’re not going to fix it AND screens are not an option, they will find something to do. This is where it’s especially important that they have entertainment options available. The toys, sports equipment, and art supplies. The activities you want them to chose.
But is there a happy medium? Where the kids aren’t bored and the parents aren’t always responsible for entertaining them?
Yes, there is. Here’s what’s worked for us and many families we know with kids of all ages: a combination of scheduled family time, free time, enrichment activities, and a limit on screen time. Taken together, this approach will get you most of the way to a less bored, and more fun summer.
Schedule family time. These are times when the family has fun doing things you don’t have time for during the school year. For example: Binge watch your favorite shows together. Give them a small garden to grow anything they want. Make a tournament with your favorite board game. Learn to cook a new ethnic food together. Train for a 5K. Let the kids plan a vacation or day trip. Benefit: A greater sense of belonging to the family, connection to each other, and good memories.
Schedule “free time”. Time where they aren’t participating in an organized activity, they’re not on a device, and they’re not doing something with you or your spouse. And you haven’t solved their “What am I going to do now?” problem. This is time where they have to figure out how to entertain themselves. Benefit: They learn they don’t have to rely on someone else to entertain them or make them happy. If this is the only thing they learn this summer, you can consider the summer a smashing success.
Schedule some enrichment activities. Talk over the options with your kids and find camps, sports, or other organized activities that they’re interested in (that are affordable and work for your schedule). Benefit: They have fun that you don’t have to organize or oversee, AND they get exposed to new activities, personalities, and experiences.
Limit screen time. Put clear limits on individual discretionary screen usage, but stay flexible. See this article for details on how to set up a device policy for your family. Benefit: Happy, health kids. The research is pretty clear that excessive screen time isn’t optimal for kids’ mental, emotional, and physical development.
Pro Tip: Have ongoing heart-to-heart talks about whose job it is to entertain them. (Hint: it’s not the parents 😂) These talks should be frequent, matter-of-fact, and not shaming. After all, they’ve been coming to you with their troubles for their whole lives, so it’s natural they come to you when they’re bored. You’re the soother of hurts and fixer of problems. And you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Bunnies!
A couple of years ago a family in our neighborhood got domestic rabbits for their kids as pets. The upkeep of the rabbits proved to be too much so they let them go. Since then the rabbits have been doing what rabbits do, and there are now lots of domestic-wild hybrids running around. They are super cute and our grandkids are in love with them.